These are some pics I took Saturday as we played outside on a beautiful, spring-like Saturday afternoon. They make me laugh...our children and these pictures! Sam was showing me his mean face, Gracie requested I take a picture of her, and Haley is the
consummate photo "ham" in our household. The one of all three is my favorite as it perfectly captures our life: fun, nutty, silly, loving and imperfect.
Usually when I wake up in the morning, I wonder how I survived the day before and how am I going to survive the current one. This mothering stuff is H.A.R.D. and they are still small...what in the world am I going to do as they teeter into their teen years?! I think about that all the time! There is only one word I can think of: Jesus. Give me Jesus. Give me your love, your patience, your grace, your forgiveness.
I have a lot of thoughts that roll around in my head but never can seem to get the words down on "paper", then I read a blog by
Lysa TerKeurst. I found her through the daily devotionals I receive from Proverbs 31 (
http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/). She expresses perfectly what I've been thinking/feeling regarding motherhood...here's what she had to say:
"So.Yeah.Today's post isn't for my mommy friends who don't struggle. I love you. I applaud you. I heart you
mucho. But I can't join your club.I wish I could.But my reality disqualifies me. I find being a mommy the most stretching thing I've ever done. I carry with me evidence of this stretching. Marks on my body. Marks on my heart. It's thrilling. Heartbreaking. Sweet. Exciting. Disillusioning. And incredibly unpredictable.Just when I think I've figured a few things out and I'm about to shine my mommy halo, something happens. Something loud and tearful and frustratingly difficult. And I find myself knee deep in drama wondering if I will survive this season of 4 teens and one
pre-teen.It makes me laugh when I think back to being pregnant with my first child nearly seventeen years ago. I was convinced I would die in the child birthing process. I even set up a special meeting with my doctor to go over exactly what happens in the birthing process and tearfully gave him all the reasons I was convinced I would not survive this process. What in the world?I so wish I could go stand in front of my little, um huge, pregnant self and say this:"Honey, you will not perish giving birth. This part of motherhood will seem like a walk in the park in just a few years. You will not only survive giving birth but you are about to spend the next twenty years having your tiny little brain and your tiny little heart experience more highs and lows than you can shake a stick at.Just remember one thing... You are the Mom. That's right you
da' mama. Repeat after me... I am the Mama. I am the Mama. I am the Mama! Don't ever forget that."Yes, I would tell my little huge pregnant self that because it's easy to forget sometimes who's really in charge. My kids want to be in charge. And while they certainly have the strong wills and wonders of leadership... it's immature leadership. Leadership that needs to be shaped and molded and corrected and reigned in.1 Corinthians 4:20 says, "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power." This reminds me I am not left to my own pitiful attempts at this daunting task but because of Jesus I have power. Real power. Not just theories and words given by human parenting experts whose advice may or may not work. I have power to rise up be
da' mama.The mom my strong willed, delightful, amazingly capable, beautifully adventurous, wildly wonderful, and uniquely special kids need. I have been perfectly designed, shaped, molded and assigned these children because I have what it takes to be their mom.I have what it takes to be the mom!You have what it takes to be the mom!... I AM THE MOM!Love that."
There are days I pray I am not permanently screwing up my children's lives but then I must
remember that I am flawed but I am forgiven; I am NOT enough, but Christ is and I was CHOSEN for my children and they were CHOSEN for me. (
http://www.incourage.me/ - Angela
Nazworth). Did you need that pep talk? I sure did and I wouldn't trade my life with my little trio and husband for anything else in this little world we inhabit for this short time.